A Silent Song 3
May 7th, 2009 by ComputerBob
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a survivor of domestic violence, so I consider it an honor to work as a full-time volunteer at a domestic violence center and shelter. Along with serving as a legal advocate, I’m happy to help out wherever and whenever I’m needed.
This past Tuesday night, I was helping take care of a group of 12-15 kids of all ages while their mothers attended a weekly domestic violence victims’ support group meeting.
Some people think that babies aren’t affected by domestic violence — that they’re too young to realize what’s going on when violence occurs in their presence.
But I know that those people are wrong.
One of Tuesday night’s children is a little girl who I’ve seen every week since last fall. Back then, she was a baby who had to be carried around the whole evening — apparently by anyone but me (I was the only man there). If I came within 10 feet of her, she’d scream and cry.
So I’d smile and gently wave at her from across the room each week. And make sure to give her a wide “safety area.”
Then she became a toddler. She’d often make her way from caregiver to caregiver, but I’d always see the fear on her face as she purposefullly avoided coming anywhere near me.
So I just kept smiling and gently waving at her from across the room.
And, over a period of several months, I gradually reduced the size of her “safety area” until I could get about 4 feet from her without scaring her.
This past Tuesday night, we took some of the kids outside to work on their twin gardens for awhile, while other kids stayed indoors to work on crafts or get tutored with their schoolwork.
For some reason, that little girl wanted to be outside with the gardeners. Every time someone carried her back inside, she’d pop back outside. But she was in her stocking feet and the area all around the gardents was very dirty. Someone needed to keep an eye on her, to keep her on the sidewalk near the gardens.
And everyone else was busy at the time.
So I took a chance.
Acting like it was a perfectly normal thing to do, I approached her and gently told her in a sing-songy, non-threatening type voice, that we don’t want her to get her “little feet all dirty.”
Then I gently I picked her up and carried her to the sidewalk, as though it was something that I’ve done every week since last fall.
For awhile, she stayed with me on the sidewalk, standing in front of me, watching the gardeners, while I crouched behind, my arms forming a very loose circle around her to keep her from toddling off into the dirt.
Then I carried her back inside. Without incident.
She immediately went to one of the tables full of children who were cutting, pasting, and coloring Mothers Day cards to give to their mothers. She stood between two of the sitting children and tried to reach their art supplies.
So I quickly went to a nearby empty table, grabbed some paper, glue and crayons. Then I called her name and invited her to come over and color with me.
To my delight, she came right over to me.
And sat on my left knee.
She began “coloring” a picture for her mother. I handed her tiny stickers to add to her creation as she happily dipped a large crayon into a glob of white glue and used it to dot and draw all over the paper. After a few minutes, another little toddler girl joined us, sitting in a tiny chair next to us, and I helped them take turns sharing the crayons and stickers. After awhile, I gave them each some gummy candies to eat. They each said “please” before I gave them the candy, and they each grinned and sweetly said, “thank you” once they had candy in their mouths.
Neither one of them had ever spoken to me before.
That night, the two of them took turns sitting on my knee and working on their picture for almost an hour.
An hour that changed everything.
Permalink:
http://www.computerbob.com/wp/a-silent-song-part-3.php
Tags:
Domestic Violence, Inspirational, Personal, Survivors