The Professor From Hell

by ComputerBob

December 20, 1998

If you ever feel like one of your instructors is just too tough, remember this little story I heard several years ago, though I no longer remember where I heard it. It might be a true story, or it might be an urban legend, but either way, I think it's a good story.

Dr. Henry Kissinger was the U.S. Secretary of State under President Richard Nixon. He was involved in all the high-level decisions regarding the Vietnam War. Well, after Nixon resigned the Presidency in disgrace, Kissinger taught some Political Science courses at a highly-respected Washington university.

In one of those courses, he assigned a major term paper. On the due date, one woman turned in her term paper, and then made an appointment to discuss it with her professor a week later, as was the custom at that university. At the appointed time, she went to Dr. Kissinger's office and knocked. He opened the door, but, instead of asking her in, he stood in the doorway, holding her term paper.

"Is this the best you can do?", he asked the astonished student.

She apologized profusely, explaining that a number of her other assignments had taken much of her time, and that, in fact, she had not done her best job on the term paper.

Dr. Kissinger offered her the opportunity to redo the assignment, and she gratefully accepted it. She worked on it for several days more and then resubmitted it, making another appointment to meet with her professor the following week.

Once again, her monotone mentor greeted her at his office door, holding her redone assignment in his hand.

"Are you sure this is the best you can do?"

And once again, the student explained that, though she had spent an entire week reworking her term paper, there were a couple of references that she hadn't read, a couple of avenues she hadn't explored, and a couple of theories she hadn't expounded on as much as she could have.

Again, he offered her the opportunity to redo the assignment, and again she gratefully accepted it. Again, she worked on it for several more days and then resubmitted it, making a third appointment to meet with her professor the following week.

You guessed it -- for the third time, the sullen sophisticate greeted her at his office door, holding her term paper in his hand.

"Are you absolutely sure this is the best you can do?"

This time, she explained to him that she had lived and breathed her term paper for the past month; that she had lost sleep over it, missed meals while she worked on it, and she was confident that there wasn't a reference, a theory, or an avenue that she hadn't explored, described, and analyzed. She concluded by telling him that she couldn't possibly do a better job on it if she had a year to work on it.

Dr. Kissinger's response was brief.

"Very well. Now I will read it."