http://www.ComputerBob.com/personal/my_previous_life_is_over.php .
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by ComputerBob
February 13, 2007 — April 11, 2008
I thought that I was way too young and way too healthy for it to happen to me. But on February 13, 2007, while watching TV, my left hand suddenly went to sleep, followed quickly by my whole left arm. It took about 30 minutes for the numbness to creep throughout my entire left side, leaving me weak, incredibly dizzy and speaking with a slur. For several hours, I convinced myself that my symptoms must have been a reaction to some sinus medicine that I had taken for what I had thought was a bad sinus headache. Even as the hours dragged on, and I didn't get better, I was so terrified of what could be wrong that I didn't say anything about it to anyone. But when things hadn't improved by the middle of the night, I knew that I had to do something. I called my chiropractor at 4:20 AM, and asked him if he knew of any possible chiropractic reason why my entire left side had gone to sleep. His immediate reply: "Bob, get to an emergency room right away."
What follows are the entries that I posted in my online Journal as I went through that experience and fought my way back to health. I hope that they help and encourage others who are recovering from strokes and other catastrophic medical conditions.
Experience has taught me that every day is a gift from God. None of us knows if we or our loved ones will still be here a minute from now, let alone tomorrow or next year. Appreciate those around you while you can, and be grateful for any time you have with them.
Something's really wrong with me. The whole left side of my body is asleep. My wife will be taking me to the hospital in a few minutes.
I'm back. I was released from the hospital last night. My previous life is over — it's time to start a totally new one. At the hospital, several tests confirmed that I had a "small" stroke. In other words, a tiny blood vessel deep in my brain wasn't able to carry enough blood to a tiny part of my brain, and so that part of my brain died. When my wife took me to the emergency room, my blood sugar was 495 — 5-7 times higher than normal, my blood pressure was 195 over 90-something, and my speech was slower than normal and slurred. In the past few days, I've discovered that I am a diabetic and I have high blood pressure — a perfect combination of problems to cause a stroke. The good news is that my cholesterol, which is normally really high in new diabetics, is a nice low "98." My neurologist says that's probably because, for the past year or so, I've been taking dietary supplement capsules that contain 7 essential fatty acids, including Omega-3, Omega-6, and Omega-9. The whole left side of my body is still in various stages of being asleep. For example, my left hand and left foot have been "almost" awake for the past couple of days, and my left earlobe is pretty much awake, but the top of my left ear is still asleep. The left side of the back of my head is asleep, but the left side of my face is mostly awake (though it really hurts to shave it). I'm currently typing about 10 words per minute, with a lot of mistakes, but that should improve as I get the feeling back in all of my fingers. I'm also able to walk around, though it feels different nearly every time I do, because various parts of my left leg are in ever-changing stages of waking up.
Those of you who know me personally probably know that I've always been horribly afraid of needles. No matter how brave I've tried to be, I've thrown up, broken into a cold sweat, or passed out almost every time I've had to take a shot or give a blood sample. One time in high school, I passed out in health class just from watching a movie about people donating blood. Unfortunately, my newly discovered condition requires me to prick my finger and squeeze out a drop of blood to test my blood sugar level, and then inject myself with insulin 4 times every day for a total of 5 injections per day. When they told me that I'd have to do all of that, I was terrified, but then I told myself that it isn't going to do any good for me to get sick 4 times every day, so I just forced myself to go ahead and do all of that needle and blood stuff without fear — or more accurately, with fear but without getting sick. I may not like it, but I'll do what I have to do. It's really weird to see myself in the mirror, holding a syringe and wiping the outside of my left arm with alcohol prior to injecting myself. It makes me feel like Kurt Cobain or something. I'm sure I'm eventually going to get used to my new lifestyle, but right now, it feels like my entire day is filled with blood tests, injections, taking prescribed pills, and making and eating specific amounts of specific types of foods at specific times. I'm getting tired now, so I'm going to sign off. Take care of yourself.
"Every day is a winding road. I get a little bit closer... to feeling fine." That Sheryl Crow chorus is running through my head as I type this. I woke up early this morning and started my day. Because I'm required to do blood tests, injections and meals about 4-5 hours apart all day, I find that starting early allows me to go to bed a little earlier at night. Unlike my former life, in which I regularly stayed up until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning — usually to work on this site — I've felt the need to go to bed early every night since I've been home. And the act of sleeping, which used to be very restless for me, is now a breeze. I go to bed, close my eyes, and the next thing I know, it's morning. And when I wake up, I'm well rested and feel like I can just jump right out of bed, although my actual egress from the mattress turns out to be much slower and laborious.
Yesterday, I created a printed form (from my wife's original design) that keeps track of all of my daily requirements, including meds, carbs, protein, and fat in each meal, blood glucose tests, insulin injections, etc. I'm kind of surprised that the hospital doesn't hand out something like that to all new diabetics, since it makes it really easy to keep track of the overwhelming amount of information and tasks that an insulin-dependent diabetic has to juggle each day. I've made several little changes to my form since I first finished it, to improve its readability and usability, and now I think it's pretty much done.
As far as activities are concerned, I'm trying to get back to my normal day as soon as possible. My wife and I have been going out together to do errands the past couple of days. She does all of the driving, because even though I'm sure I'm physically able to drive, our cars both have stick shifts, and I'm not confident that I'll have enough feeling in my left leg to be able to work the clutch very well. We're going to let me practice that in a parking lot one of these days, to see if I can do it.
It's been really cold here the past several days. By that, I mean that it's gotten down to the upper 30s (F) at night, which feels like 10 below zero to anyone who's lived in the Sunshine State for more than a year. Happily, the phone calls, visits, and email messages of a few relatives, a few good friends, and a few of this site's visitors have been like a warm blanket wrapped around me.
"A wise man sees what he has, not what he has lost." That quote appeared at the top of my home page yesterday afternoon, and it really made me think. Everything is relative. One person may be happy to be driving a 10-year-old junker car, while another person may bitterly complain that their $150,000 luxury car isn't their favorite color. It's the old question of whether the glass of water is half full or half empty. It's actually both, but you can choose to complain that it's half empty, or you can choose to be glad that it's half full. Psychologists say that you can't choose whatever happens to you in life — you can only choose how you react to whatever happens to you in life. These are all ways of saying what the old hymn, "Count Your Blessings" said 110 years ago: "Count your blessings; name them one by one. Count your blessings; see what God has done. Count your blessings; name them one by one. Count your many blessings, see what God has done." My wife and I are really happy and thankful to God that I'm not dead or paralyzed or mentally incapacitated. I'm also really grateful to my wife that, even though this extremely stressful time has left her mentally and physically exhausted, she has helped me with 1001 things every day, and she's been patient and happy and supportive through it all. Last night, as we watched TV together, I told her that, despite my stroke, diabetes, high blood pressure, and highly restrictive new blood-test-and-injections-oriented lifestyle, I still feel like I'm the luckiest guy in the world, because I have her.
My wife and I will be attending 5 hours of diabetes education today, with another 5 hours tomorrow. It'll be good to find out more about what I'm dealing with. I also hope to pick up some eating tips, like the names of a couple of "filler" foods that I can eat to raise my carbohydrates without affecting my fats and protein; raise my protein without affecting my carbs or fats, etc. Which reminds me: I really miss snacking. I'm really used to popping into the kitchen and grabbing a couple of cookies or downing a little milk with my vitamins. Now I start to do those things, but then quickly realize that I can only eat at mealtimes.
My typing has gotten a little faster in the past couple of days, with fewer typos. The hardest part is that I can't really feel where the "home keys" are, so I often end up typing a word or two before I realize that what I'm typing is gibberish. Or maybe it's secret code, decipherable only by those who know which home keys my hands were on when I typed it.
By very gradually increasing the amount of insulin that I inject each time, I'm getting my blood sugar under control. Since I've been home, it has consistently been way, way lower than it was while I was in the hospital, and in the past couple of days, it has mostly been just above the normal range, with 3 of my blood tests reporting blood sugar levels in the normal range. That's very encouraging. It's getting a little easier to inject myself — in fact, I'm actually watching the needle go in each time now, to make sure I do it at the right angle. According to a diabetes booklet that they gave me at the hospital, the American Medical Association says that a syringe can safely be reused by the same person for 24 hours. I can tell you that it may be safe to do that, but it certainly isn't comfortable, at least not with the really thin needles that I'm using. The other day, I decided to try using the same syringe for a whole day, to reduce my need for syringes by 80%. When I used it the second time of the day, it was already so dull that it wouldn't even go into my skin until I pushed it really hard. So much for that idea.
Thank you again, to all you who are writing to me with your support. It's amazing and really means a lot to me that people who I've never met would care enough to send me encouraging messages. God bless you.
Yesterday was the first of my two 5-hour diabetes education classes. The second class is today. There are about 10 people in the class, and I'm probably at least 15 years younger than everyone else. It's remarkable and sad that even though most of them have had diabetes for years or even decades, it looks like this is the first time that most of them are taking a class to learn how to care for themselves. I guess that none of them have had a terrifying experience like mine to make them want to take control of the diabetes right away. It's kind of like I wrote to my old high-school buddy the other day: A wake-up call is better than an obituary. The class is interesting and informative, and my wife and I are very comfortable with the fact that we already know about 90% of what they're telling us, because it would be too overwhelming to be learning about carbs and fat and protein for the first time, on top of everything else we're learning. There's one woman in the class who's a real hoot. She constantly comments about what the instructor is saying, and interrupts with examples from her own life, as though she's the only student in the room. It's actually pretty funny, but I suspect she's doing it because she's really nervous and scared.
When I was in the hospital, Mike, the man in the next bed, was there because he had pneumonia. He was probably at least 15 years older than me, and had a huge protruding belly. He also had diabetes. Knowing that I was a new diabetic, and that I was really scared of that diagnosis, he tried to console me by saying, "Diabetes is no big deal. I eat whatever I want and the medicine takes care of it." Seeing him wallowing in his hospital bed, hardly able to move, I couldn't help but think to myself, "No, it doesn't." Then he picked up his phone and ordered glazed doughnuts for breakfast from the hospital cafeteria. They say that every life serves a good purpose, even if it's to be a bad example. I hope that I always remember Mike, because, without realizing it, he taught me a valuable lesson about taking care of myself.
Wrong thinking can cause a multitude of hurts. When I was a kid, my paternal grandfather, a scowling, stubbly faced old curmudgeon, always kept a box of candy bars in his bedroom, though he never, ever shared them with us kids. Years later, he found out that he had diabetes. I still remember my parents telling me about the family's disdain for him after he died. I remember hearing them repeat what they said they had heard other relatives say: "He got diabetes because he was always eating those candy bars." As far as my grandfather's family was concered, it was his own fault that he got diabetes. That's a very popular misconception that a lot of people think is true, even today, but it turns out that the whole family was wrong — just as the whole medical profession was wrong about what causes diabetes until the past few years. I internalized that wrong thinking from them, and it stayed with me all of my life until last week, when a nutritionist in the hospital finally set me straight. You can't give yourself diabetes. Repeat after me: You can't give yourself diabetes. Please remember that fact the next time you meet someone who has the disease.
The exact causes of diabetes are currently unknown, but what is known is that you can't give yourself diabetes. Being overweight can increase your chances of getting it if you are already susceptible to the disease, but millions of overweight people will never get diabetes, while millions of thin people will. Many other factors also affect each person's diabetes risk. For example, people who are old or who have a family history of diabetes have an increased risk of developing diabetes. And some studies even suggest that diabetes may be caused by a virus. In other words, my grandfather did not cause his own diabetes by eating candy bars. In fact, knowing what I know about the disease now, I'm pretty confident that, rather than giving him diabetes, those candy bars were probably an indication that he already had undiagnosed and untreated diabetes. You see, diabetes causes the body to be unable to properly turn the carbohydrates (sugars) in our food into energy, which causes untreated diabetics to always feel tired. It naturally follows that an undiagnosed diabetic may eat a lot of candy because its "sugar rush" temporarily relieves that always-tired feeling. I'm pretty sure that that's what happened with my grandfather. It could also at least partially explain his long-term alcoholism. Alcoholic drinks contain a lot of carbohydrates, which probably increased the severity of his diabetes. If my grandfather's family had known more about diabetes, they might have been more sympathetic to his plight. More importantly, they might have taken him to get some diabetes treatment at the first signs of the disease, though it's questionable whether any such treatment could have prevented the amputation of his legs and prolonged his grumpy life, since doctors didn't really understand much about diabetes back then.
I cried with relief when the hospital nutritionist told me that I hadn't given myself diabetes. It wasn't "my fault," and other than losing some weight, there's apparently very little I could have done to have avoided getting it.
My blood glucose tests are nearly all in the normal range now, owing to the fact that I've been slowly and gradually adjusting the amount of insulin in each of my 5 daily injections. As I told you a few days ago, I've always been deathly afraid of needles, so it was a daunting task just to buy a box of syringes and blood-test finger pokers, let alone use them several times every day. To help solve that problem, I came up with a little mind trick. Instead of viewing the blood glucose meter and finger poker and syringes with great fear every few hours, I literally tell my wife and myself that they are my friends who help me care for myself. There's my brainy friend (the blood glucose meter), my smelly friends (the alcohol wipes), my juicy friends (the 2 types of insulin), and of course, my pointy friends (the finger pokers and the syringes). Each time I go into the bathroom to test/inject myself, I actually speak to my equipment, saying, "Hello, my little friends." I'm a pretty intelligent, self-aware guy, but incredibly, that blatant little exercise in intentional self-delusion actually works for me.
I've successfully driven a car several times in the past few days, although, like walking, it's a little bit different experience each time I do it. I'm good at working the clutch even though my left side (including my left leg) is still half-asleep from my stroke. Plus, my eyes are changing a little bit every day, which, I've been told, is normal at this point in my battle with diabetes. A few days ago, my bifocals were the perfect prescription for both distance and up close, but now I have to tilt my head back and look through the bottom of the lenses in order to see distant objects clearly, and I have to wear reading glasses to read things that are up close.
I'm glad that there are many sources of help and information for people who have diabetes, including magazines, TV shows, booklets, books, support groups, newsletters, and more. People can even join the American Diabetes Asssociation and get lots of help and information from them. Those support options are all great, and I'm happy that many people find them very useful, but I don't plan to utilize any of them at this point. The booklets, information, and support that I received in the 2-day diabetes information class this past week are excellent and sufficient for my current needs. Plus, right now, the demands of the disease are already nearly overwhelming, so I don't need even more information overload. But the main reason is because I don't want to be a diabetic — I just want to be a guy who happens to have diabetes. In my mind, there's a subtle difference between the two. If I think of my life as a pie, then each slice of the pie represents one of my many different interests and activities. One slice is my teaching, another is this web site, another is my pets, etc. I understand that I have to adjust the size of the other slices to make room for a diabetes slice, and that diabetes will be an important part of my life from now on, but I'm not willing to make it the biggest slice of my pie. Here's another example: Ever since I was a kid, my IQ has qualified me to join Mensa, the "genius club." Some people in my position happily sign up for Mensa membership, exchange intellectually stimulating email messages, go to Mensa meetings and activities and fully partake of its services. That's fine for them, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that if they can manage to balance it with their other interests and activities. I just don't think I could do that. I'm the kind of person that, if I were to join Mensa, I would mentally transform from being a guy who happens to be smart, into "a genius," and my whole life would revolve around that one fact. So I don't join Mensa because I don't want to to be totally defined (by myself or by others) by just one of my many pie slices. That's why I won't be jumping into diabetes groups and activities with both feet. I'm still the same guy that I was before my stroke last week. The only difference is that my pie now has a small diabetes slice.
In case you're wondering, this Journal has not turned into a diabetes information blog. I've always written about what's on my mind, and diabetes is currently a lot more pressing issue to me than computers. I'm sure that that will change before too long. After all, I'm a guy who has a lot of interests and writes about a lot of different subjects — and by the way, I also have diabetes.
Now that I'm documenting everything that I eat and drink, it's making me much more aware of both. As a person with diabetes, I can eat every single thing that I used to eat — I just can't eat as much of it as I used to eat, so I have to make choices about what I want to "spend" my carbohydrate, protein, and fat allowances on at each meal. As far as my body is concerned, a carb is a carb is a carb. It doesn't know or care if the carb came from a can of Coke or from a few slices of bread. On the other hand, if I make bad food choices, I could end up eating the right number of carbs but getting way too many calories or fat, and not enough protein, vitamins, fiber and other nutrients. For example, just one 12 oz. can of regular Coca Cola has 4/5 of all the carbs that I'm allowed to eat in an entire meal, plus it has lots of calories and it doesn't contain any healthy nutrients. Knowing all of that, why would I choose to "spend" most of a whole meal's carbohydrate allowance on a can of Coke? Here's another example: A small Snickers bar would give me a whole meal's worth of carbs, but it would also give me a whole lot of fat and a whole lot of calories, while providing only a tiny little bit of protein and a tiny bit of fiber. So, while I could theoretically eat a small Snickers bar for lunch, I choose not to do that, because it would basically use up my entire carb and fat allowances for that meal without giving me any good nutrition. In contrast, a 3" square of my next-door neighbor
Mike's delicious homemade lasagna has an almost-perfect balance of carbs, protein and fat without too many calories, plus it leaves enough of my meal allowance that I can also eat 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and 1/2 piece of 15-whole-grains bread with some Smart Balance margarine. In addition to having healthy amounts of carbs, protein and fat, that lasagna meal also contains lots of healthy vitamins, minerals, other nutrients and a bunch of fiber. So, given the choice of eating a square of lasagna with a few side dishes or one small Snickers bar, which one would be the smarter choice? Which one would you choose?
Besides lasagna, another food that tastes really great and is really good for you is Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal. It's a delicious granola that contains 7 whole grains, with "twice the protein and fiber of the average cereal." One cup of it with 1/2 cup of skim milk is all I need for a healthy, nutritious breakfast. In fact, it's so yummy and healthful that I often eat another cup of it (without milk) as my entire required bedtime snack.
This morning, I have an appointment with a periodontist. According to my dentist, my gums have started to let go of a few of my teeth, and the underlying jawbone is starting to break down, so he wants me to see a specialist before he does my dental cleaning. From what I've read, it appears to me that my dental trouble is probably being caused by my having had untreated diabetes for awhile. I hope that now that I'm treating the diabetes, my gums and jawbone will get better — or at least stop getting worse.
Speaking of getting better, all of my blood glucose tests have been in the normal range for the past 3 days, due mostly to the fact that I've continued to gradually adjust the amount of insulin that I inject before each meal and at bedtime. This afternoon, I'll be meeting with my new diabetes doctor for the first time. According to a friend of mine who's a nurse, my new doctor is going to be really happy that I've gotten my blood glucose levels down already, and that I've been keeping really good records of them, along with my food, medicines, and insulin injections.
My left side is still in various stages of being asleep. My left hand and foot have both been almost awake for the past week. It's hard to tell if they're continuing to improve or not. I hope they are. My typing is much faster and more accurate than it was last week. Those who don't know me probably think that I'm walking normally now, but I can tell that my movements are still slightly jerky. At least my balance is gradually getting more "automatic" instead of me having to think about it so much. And now, I don't have to have my hands sticking out from my sides to help me balance any more. My talking sounds perfectly normal to all but my closest friends. It gets noticeably more difficult to speak normally when I'm really tired, and some syllables end up running together unless I really concentrate when I say them, but that's gradually getting better, too.
Last night, it felt like I was having a party at my house. I spent about 5 hours on the phone, talking to 5 different old friends who each called to see how I'm doing. Regular visitors to this site know that my circle of relatives and friends
has grown significantly smaller over the past few years. Now I can see that it has gone through a type of distilling process. The relatives and friends that remain have willingly "gone through the fire" with me — as a result, their love and concern for me are pure, and it's an absolute joy to have them in my life. Quality as opposed to quantity. Life's too long and difficult to go through it alone if you can help it. That's why I try to avoid the people that bring me down and really love and appreciate the ones who truly care about me.
Yesterday morning, I had my appointment with the periodontist. When he finished examining my mouth, he said, "Well, your gums aren't that bad at all." The gum damage that I have was caused by the diabetes. It's irreversible, but now that I have my blood sugar under control, it will stop. Because he's better prepared to deal with the ramifications of patients who have diabetes, the periodontist is going to do my teeth cleaning himself, instead of sending me back to the regular dentist for that.
Yesterday afternoon, I had my first appointment with my diabetes doctor. He told me that it's "incredible" that I already have both the high blood pressure and the diabetes well under control. My blood glucose tests have all been in the normal range for the past 4 days. My blood pressure, which had been 195 over 90-something when my wife took me to the hospital emergency room 13 days ago, was 116 over 70 at the periodontist's office this morning. Ten minutes later, it was 106 over 65. I can live with that.
Have you ever noticed that once you buy something, you start to notice how many other people have the exact same thing? For example, years ago, I bought a red Volkswagen bug. After that, I started seeing red Volkswagen bugs everywhere. In the same way, having diabetes has opened my eyes to a lot of disturbing sights that I never really noticed before. For example, the other day, I saw a morbidly obese woman driving an electric wheelchair, eating a huge, greasy sausage sandwich. In the basket of her chair, she had a 44-ounce soft drink. Having diabetes has also made me hyper-aware of the huge number of commercials, billboards, and printed ads that try to convince people to eat completely unhealthy food choices. There's an old saying that "ignorance is bliss." I can sure understand that, because part of me would rather not carry the responsibility that comes with knowing the truth about nutrition. On the other hand, I no longer have the luxury of sticking my head in the sand, because, in my case, it's already been proven that ignorance isn't bliss — It's diabetes, high blood pressure, and a stroke.
If you live long enough, a weight gain of even a few pounds per year starts to add up to a lot of extra weight. Happily, my new healthy eating lifestyle is helping me lose weight. I've lost 6 pounds in the past 17 days since I got out of the hospital after my stroke. That makes me 39 pounds lighter than I was last year, which is the lightest that I've been in many years. Slowly but surely, I plan to lose a total of 100 pounds, which will put me back at my high school weight. Losing weight should also have a huge impact on my blood pressure and blood glucose levels, which have both been in the normal range for the past several days, thanks to my blood pressure medicine and 5-times-per-day insulin injections. If I reach my goal weight, then according to my doctor, there's a chance that I'll be able to control my blood pressure and diabetes with diet and exercise alone, without the need for any medications or injections. That would be really nice.
Last night, I suddenly noticed that the calf muscle of my left leg was hurting, as though I had strained it or stretched it too much. Then I realized, "Hey! That means that I can feel that muscle!" So, even though my left side is still in various stages of being asleep, at least I now have some evidence that it is continuing to slowly wake up.
It's been 3 weeks since my stroke, and even though my left leg is still not awake, my walking is back to being almost completely normal. I can tell that it's not quite as "automatic" as it used to be, and I feel a little shaky every now and then, but I doubt if anyone else can tell. Running, however, is a different story. Last night, I tried to run across a parking lot to get a friend's attention before he drove off. Not only did I quickly discover a lot of tightness and achiness in my left leg, I also discovered that I wasn't so much running as shuffling. Instead of powerfully propelling me slightly off of the ground and forward from leg to leg, my legs just moved me forward in relatively small steps, with neither leg ever really leaving the ground. This morning, I tried to run on the treadmill in my office, with similar results. In fact, I had to hold the treadmill's side rails in order to feel secure. I guess I'll have to keep trying, in the hope that running will eventually "come back to me" the same way that walking has.
Even though we have health insurance, it's costing us a lot of money for me to have diabetes. Since I don't have the option to stop having the disease, I'm finding ways to reduce its treatment costs. So far, I've experimented and determined that I don't need a bedtime snack and its required short-term insulin injection. Normally, the bedtime snack ensures that a person's blood glucose level doesn't drop to a dangerously low level during overnight's many fasting hours; however, in my case, my blood glucose level is way up at the top of the normal range in the morning if I have a bedtime snack and its insulin injection, but if I drop the snack and its injection, my morning blood glucose level is in the lower half of the normal range, with no danger of being too low. So now I only need 4 insulin injections per day, instead of 5, which reduces my need for insulin, which currently costs me $60 per month. I also called my insurance company and learned that I can get a 3-month supply of insulin for the price of 2 months worth, if I order it directly from them and have them ship it to me, instead of getting one month's worth at a time from my local Sam's Club pharmacy. Finally, since I've completely controlled my blood glucose levels for the past few weeks, and I've learned how different foods affect those levels, I'm quickly getting to the point where I'll only have to test my blood glucose level when I eat something unusual or when I lose more weight, instead of testing it before every meal every day. That will result in a huge cost savings, since just the 5 blood glucose test strips that I currently use each day cost me $90 (U.S.D) per month. Note that I'm not doing anything to jeopardize my health or my diabetes treatment regimen; I'm simply using my knowledge and experience to reduce my required treatment (and its associated costs) to a minimum. If you're a diabetic, be sure to check with your doctor before you try anything like I've described.
Speaking of doctors, I'm looking for a new one. As soon as he walked into the examination room, I knew that the doctor that I met with several days ago wasn't the right one for me. Technically, he's probably a very good doctor, but I was a brand new patient, and he didn't even look at me or shake my hand when he walked into the examination room. Instead, he said, "Hello," apparently to the room itself, and swept right to the desk where my medical file sat. And he barely even glanced at my diabetes care notebook, in which I keep meticulous records of my meals, medications, injections, blood glucose levels, weight, and blood pressure readings. A few minutes later, when I showed him the list of questions that I had come up with since I was in the hospital, he snapped, "I don't read lists of questions." I bit my tongue to keep from replying, "Not a very good reader, huh?" So I read my questions to him. His answers were short and businesslike, with no added explanations, as though I was wasting his time and keeping him from moving on to his next patient. Anyway, I called the registered nurse and the registered dietician who led the 2-day diabetes class a few weeks ago, and they both recommended a doctor who's supposed to be really good and really nice. The only problem is that he may not be taking any new patients at this time. I hope that his office calls me back later today, to tell me that he'll take me as a patient.
Last night, my chiropractor called, to see how I'm doing. The last time we had spoken was when I had woken him up at 4:20 AM on Valentine's Day, to ask if he knew of any possible chiropractic reason why the left half of my body had gone to sleep and my speech was slightly slurred. His response: "Bob, get to an emergency room right away." A day or two later, my wife called to give him an update on my condition while I was in the hospital, but that was 3 weeks ago. Last night, when I described my recent running experience to him, he told me that, because my gait is still uneven, running would put undue strain on my joints and could cause some damage. He recommended that I continue to walk every day, and also do some balancing exercises, to help retrain my brain to perform those tasks. So that's what I'm going to do. It means a lot to me that he cared enough to check up on me.
I haven't heard back from my potential new doctor's office yet, to say whether or not he'll take me as a new patient. I think they don't work on Fridays, so I may have to wait until next week to get an answer.
When I was a child, my religion taught me that my soul will go on living forever after my body dies. So I've always believed in the separation of the body and soul. At least I've intellectually believed in it. However, my recent medical woes had the surprising consequence of giving me a deeper insight into the whole body and soul concept. I guess the best way to explain it is to say that every time my body is unable to do relatively simple things (like running) that I've always been able to do in the past, I feel a certain disconnect between my body and soul. That makes me very aware of the fact that my body is not me — it's simply a vehicle to carry the real me around and to do the things that I ask it to do. Now I really know that when my body fails, I will keep living.
If you're looking for a sweet, satisfying dessert that won't mess up your healthy eating habits, try some Sugar Free Jello. One-half cup of it contains zero grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of protein, zero grams of fat, and only 10 calories. In other words, you can eat a bunch of it and it barely even counts as food. To make it even more special, add some Cool Whip Lite whipped topping. Two tablespoons of it have only 3 grams of carbohydrates, zero grams of protein, 1 gram of fat, and 20 calories. Note - Phenylketonurics: Contains Phenylalanine. I always wanted to find some way to use that warning in this Journal.
My mouth is still mostly numb from my visit to the periodontist early this morning. At one point, my whole face was numb, all the way up to and including my right eye. The good news is that my teeth look brand new after today's cleaning. The bad news is that my periodontist thinks that I probably developed an infection in the gum over tooth #3 when it had root canal work about 30 years ago. As a result, there is an unwanted space between the gum and that tooth that breeds bacteria. I'll have to take special care of it a couple of times each day, using a pointy plastic tool that he gave me. Then I'll have a follow-up visit in about a month, to see if it's gotten better or if it will require some oral surgery. In the past month, I've been diagnosed with a stroke, high blood pressure, diabetes, and now gum problems. I'm starting to feel like a very old, very broken-down used car. I doubt if anyone even makes parts for me any more.
Late yesterday afternoon, I got a call from the office of the doctor who I was hoping would take me as a new patient. Yes, he will take me on. That's very good news, because 2 different people had told me that he's a really good doctor and a really nice guy. Now I can cancel my follow-up appointment with the doctor who acted very snooty to me several days ago, and transfer my medical file to my new doctor.
Today, it's been one month since my wife took me to the hospital emergency room after I had a stroke. They kept me on a heart monitor the whole time I was there, plus they kept an IV inserted in my left wrist, to make it easy to inject stuff into my veins — unfortunately, they only used it once, and instead gave me several painful injections in my arms and stomach. Both the heart monitor and the IV were taped to me with some sort of super-strong duct tape. Before they did the MRI that confirmed that I had had a stroke, they pulled off the heart monitor, which hurt like crazy when its tape tore a chunk of hair off of my chest. After the MRI, they reattached the heart monitor on the other side of my chest. A few days later, before they released me to go home, they again ripped off the heart monitor's duct tape, plus they removed the IV from my wrist. For the past month, I had 3 large spots of dark, sticky, leftover glue from that tape that just wouldn't come off, no matter how much I scrubbed them. Every time I looked in the mirror, those glue spots stared back at me, making me look and feel like I was still a hospital patient. Then yesterday, I remembered a tip that one nurse had shared with me, probably while she was ripping that tape off of me. I went into the garage, sprayed a little bit of
WD-40 onto a paper towel, and scrubbed those sticky spots. The glue almost immediately softened and I was able to rub it right off. The WD-40 smell was pretty strong at first, but it faded away in about an hour. File that tip away in your subconscous, in case you ever have to remove that sticky residue from yourself.
We all know that, for our own good, we should each drink 8 glasses of water every day. It's even more important for people with diabetes to stay hydrated, because even slight dehydration can significantly raise a person's blood glucose level. When I first got out of the hospital last month, I could tell that I was dehydrated, because my hands looked older and slightly wrinkled, like they weren't "pumped up" enough. The problem is that it's often hard to drink as much as we should, since water is such a boring drink. The good news is that there are some ways to make water more fun without adding sugar and lot of empty calories. One way is to eat the water, instead of drinking it. For example, like I described a few days ago, Sugar Free Jello gives you a lot of delicious water with no carbs, no fat, and just a few calories. If you prefer to drink your water, Crystal Light and Wylers both make delicious Koolaid-type drinks that are basically "free," because they won't affect your blood glucose at all. When I go out to eat at a restaurant, I don't order anything to drink — I just add one of those pink packets of sugar-free sweetener to my glass of water. Skim milk is a pretty good choice too, because it is mostly water, but it contains some carbs, so don't overdo it. You can also drink coffee and tea, but too much caffeine can raise your blood glucose levels, so be sure to drink low-caf or decaf versions of those drinks — or even better, choose an herbal tea, like chamomile or peppermint, that's naturally caffeine-free. If you surround yourself with a variety of healthy drinks, and keep one of them nearby as you work and while you relax at night, you'll find it easier to stay healthfully hydrated.
Last month, I told you how my doctor attributed my healthy cholesterol levels to the
Omega Complex dietary supplement that I've been taking for the past year or so. I had started taking it after I read that Omega fatty acids appeared to lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure, and improve blood circulation and overall nerve health, but it was really good to find out that they really had actually worked for me. When I told a friend about what my doctor had said, she told one of her friends, who has high cholesterol, and her friend started taking Omega Complex capsules, too. Yesterday, my friend called to say that her friend was amazed and delighted to discover that, after just a few weeks of taking them, the Omega Complex capsules had significantly reduced the swelling and pain of her arthritis. I hadn't heard of that before, so I did a quick Google search for the terms, "Omega" and "arthritis." The search results confirmed that Omega Complex supplements are often used as a treatment for arthritis. That's really cool. Be sure to check with your doctor before you take any type of Omega Complex, because it could significantly increase or decrease the effectiveness of any daily medications that you may be taking.
For more than a month, I've been recording every gram of carbohydrate, protein, and fat that I've eaten. Doing that not only allowed me to quickly gain control over my blood glucose levels, it also enabled me to lose 10 pounds in about 30 days. Up until now, I've had to read the nutritional information on all of the packaged food that I eat, and then look up the nutritional values for everything else that I eat. One of these days, I hope to make some quick-reference "cheat sheets" that list all of the nutritional information for the foods that I eat most often, to make it easier to maintain my records. The
Calorie Counter Database is going to make that job a lot easier, because it lists the nutritional values for thousands of packaged, raw, and restaurant foods. If it's true that knowledge is power, I'm going to be a very powerful man.
A person's blood glucose level, like most things in life, requires a delicate balance. If it's too high, it can cause a stroke, poor circulation, changes in eyesight, and many other problems. But since the brain requires a certain level of glucose in the blood as fuel to be able to function, a low blood glucose level can also cause many problems, including confusion, light-headedness, disorientation, dizziness, irritability, and, if it gets too low, death. I've been learning a lot about how various factors affect my blood glucose levels. When my wife took me to the hospital emergency room on Valentine's Day, my blood glucose level was 5-7 times higher than normal. That told the hospital people that I had previously undiagnosed diabetes. While I was in the hospital, the lowest they got my blood glucose level was still 3-4 times higher than normal. They told me that because my system was "saturated" with glucose, it could take several weeks or even months to get all of that extra glucose out of my blood. Once I got home, I began to carefully increase the amount of insulin that I injected 5 times each day. It took nearly twice as much as they had started me on to get my blood glucose level down into the normal range. Ever since then, I've carefully monitored everything that I eat and drink, and have successfully kept my blood glucose levels in the normal range. At first, my readings were in the top half of the normal range each morning, but in the middle or the bottom half of the normal range the rest of each day. By making a few more adjustments to my insulin injections, and by dropping my bedtime snack (and its corresponding insulin injection), I was able to attain extremely consistent levels throughout each entire day. My eyesight, which had dramatically changed when my glucose levels were high, gradually improved, and has been completely back to normal for the past several days. Now, in the past 48 hours, my blood glucose levels have suddenly dropped significantly. In fact, my tests have all been either in the low end of the normal range, or below the normal range, uncomfortably close to the dangerously-low range. Since I haven't made any recent changes to my eating habits, the amount of insulin that I've been injecting, or my level of activity, I'm hoping that these new low levels indicate that my system is no longer saturated with glucose, so the insulin that I inject is able to lower my glucose level better than it did before. If my blood glucose level continues to be low all day today, I will start to reduce the amount of time-release insulin that I inject each night, to lower my base insulin level and raise my blood glucose level back up into the normal range. That's a problem that I can live with.
As I had anticipated, my blood glucose level continued to be too low all day yesterday, so I slightly reduced the amount of time-release insulin that I injected last night. This morning's blood glucose level was still too low, but I'm going to wait 24 hours for the insulin reduction to take effect. Then, if necessary, I'll continue to gradually reduce it, until I've gotten my blood glucose level back up in the normal range. Oddly, I find that optimizing my insulin injections is kind of fun to do, probably because seeing its results gives me a rewarding sense of accomplishment and control over the diabetes.
I'm happy to report that my blood glucose levels remain just below the normal range, despite the fact that I slightly reduced the amount of time-release insulin that I injected 2 nights ago, and then slightly reduced it a little more last night. That means that I now need less insulin than I needed for the past 5 weeks, when my blood was saturated with glucose. I'll probably discover exactly how much less I need in the next day or two. And, as I continue to lose weight, that will also cause me to need less and less insulin. Cool.
It's kind of exciting, but also a little disturbing, to see that, although last night, I only injected half of the amount of time-release insulin that I had been injecting every night for the past 5 weeks, my blood glucose level is still too low this morning. If this continues all day today, I'll be injecting even less insulin tonight.
Other than wearing Grandpa's Watch for special occasions, I hadn't worn a watch for the past 15 or 20 years. That's no longer the case, now that I have to take blood glucose readings and eat meals at certain times of the day. After researching the heck out of my choices, yesterday, I bought
a new watch. The main things that drew me to it were its large, easy to read digits on a white background, and its 3 separate daily alarms for my lunchtime, suppertime, and nighttime blood tests. I also like its Indiglo nightlight, because instead of lighting up the background like most watches do, it makes the digits themselves glow bright greenish-blue. When he saw that it had such large, easy to read digits, my next-door neighbor and buddy, Mike, jokingly called it "a geezer watch." I guess that makes me a geezer.
My blood glucose level was still too low all day yesterday, after injecting only half of the normal amount of time-release insulin that I had been injecting every night for the past 5 weeks. So, last night, I injected only one-fourth of the normal amount. This morning, my glucose level was still slightly below the normal range. Now I will try reducing the amount short-term insulin that I will inject at each meal, and if that doesn't bring my numbers up to normal, I'll have to continue to reduce the amount of time-release insulin that I inject every night, even though I'm barely using any of it any more.
After struggling with my blood glucose level being too low lately, yesterday, I finally got it up into the bottom of the normal range, and was able to keep it there all day and night. In order to achieve that, I had to reduce my time-release insulin injection from its normal 16 units at night down to only 3 units, and reduce my short-term insulin injections from their normal 5 units before each meal to only 3 units before each meal. That's an 81% decrease in time-release insulin, and a 40% decrease in short-term insulin, apparently all due to the fact that my blood is no longer saturated with glucose. Like I said, even with those drastic reductions, my blood glucose level is still at the bottom of the normal range. That makes me very hopeful that I may soon be able to switch from injecting insulin to taking pills, and that, some day, I may even be able to control my blood glucose level through diet and exercise alone. Cool.
Yesterday, my blood glucose level stayed in the normal range all day, despite my significantly reducing the amount of insulin that I injected. Today, I'm trying something even more drastic. Last night, I injected 6 units of time-release insulin — twice as much as I had injected the night before — so that today, I can see what happens if I don't inject any short-term insulin at all. Of course, I will carefully monitor my blood glucose level, both before and 1-2 hours after each meal, to allow for adjustments if it goes either too high or too low at any point. So far, so good. My blood glucose level was in the middle of the normal fasting range before breakfast, and was well within the upper part of the normal peak range at its peak, 1.75 hours later.
Update: My blood glucose level was back in the middle of the normal fasting range right before lunch. Unfortunately, 1.75 hours after lunch, it was significantly higher than the top of the normal peak range, so I injected some short-term insulin to bring it back down. That proves that 6 units of time-release insulin isn't enough to keep my blood glucose level in the normal range all day by itself. Tonight, I'll try injecting 10 units of time-release insulin, to see if that can do the job by itself tomorrow.
My "no-short-term-insulin" experiment didn't work yesterday, but it was educational, so I'm trying it again today. Last night, I injected 10 units of time-release insulin, instead of the 6 units that I had injected the previous night. Right before breakfast this morning, my blood glucose level was perfect — right at the bottom of the normal range. Just like I did yesterday, I'll monitor it before and then 1-2 hours after each meal, to see if it stays in the normal range all day or not.
My "no-short-term-insulin" experiment almost worked yesterday. My blood glucose level was a little bit too high at its post-lunch and post-supper peaks, so I injected 2 units of short-term insulin at each of those times, to bring it back down into the normal range. Last night, I injected 14 units of time-release insulin, instead of the 10 units that I had injected the previous night. I was a little concerned that the increased amount of time-release insulin might cause my blood glucose level to drop too low overnight, but before breakfast this morning, it was perfect again — right at the bottom of the normal range. I hope that last night's additional time-release insulin will be enough to keep my blood glucose in the normal range all day today, without requiring any short-term insulin. Like always, I'll monitor it closely, to see how it goes.
I gave up on my "no-short-term-insulin" experiment yesterday, when it became apparent that, no matter how much time-release insulin I injected at night, it wasn't going to be able to handle the blood glucose peaks that occur after each of my daily meals. So, I went back to the regimen that worked for me before I started to experiment: Last night, I injected 3 units of time-release insulin, and today, I will inject 3 units of short-term insulin before each meal. The time-release insulin provides an overall base level, while the short-term insulin's job is to handle the peaks that come after every meal.
This morning, I'll see my new doctor for the first time. I'm looking forward to telling him that my need for insulin has drastically diminished. Plus, I've lost 15.5 pounds in the past 6 weeks, for a total of 48.5 pounds over the past year. I hope that all of that convinces him that I'm ready to replace at least some of my insulin injections with some type of pill.
I've been practically giddy with joy, ever since I left my new doctor's office yesterday. He's a very nice guy; nothing like the cold fish that I went to several weeks ago. He spent over 30 minutes with me, gave me a complete physical, and was very interested to hear all about how I'm doing, including:
He even laughed at my jokes.
I've been saving the very best news for last: He put me on a diabetes pill! It's not an insulin pill — it's a medicine that will help my body use the insulin that it already makes. He told me to stop injecting my time-release insulin right away, but continue to inject a little bit of short-term insulin after my meals for the next 2 weeks or so, until the pill completely kicks in. Once the pill is fully working, and if it works the way my doctor thinks it will, I'll just take one pill every morning, and I won't need any more insulin injections! At first, he was going to put me on a different pill. I asked him a few questions about how that pill was going to work, and based on what he told me, it didn't sound quite right for me. I told him that I had no trouble keeping my fasting blood glucose levels down, but I needed something that would lower my after-meal peak levels. So he changed his mind, and chose to put me on this other pill instead. That made me feel like we were really working together on my health, that he was really listening to me, and that my input had made a real difference.
So far, it looks like I'm probably going to be successful in switching from injecting insulin several times each day, to taking a once-a-day diabetes pill. I haven't injected any time-release insulin for the past 2 nights, and I just started taking the diabetes pill yesterday morning, but yesterday, I only needed 3 units of short-term insulin after lunch, and another 3 units after supper, to keep my blood glucose level within the normal range all day. I expect that I'll need less and less insulin as the pill continues to reach its full effectiveness over the next 2-3 weeks.
Two days ago, I took my new diabetes pill for the first time. I discovered that my blood glucose level stayed in the normal range after eating breakfast, even though I didn't inject any short-term insulin to help my body process that meal's carbohydrates. Since I ate more carbs at lunch and supper, I still needed to inject 3 units of short-term insulin at each of those meals. With that in mind, yesterday, I ate the same, lower number of carbs at breakfast, lunch, and supper, and I didn't need any insulin all day long. So, instead of eating more carbs at lunch and supper, and needing to inject short-term insulin to process all of those carbs, I'm going to try eating fewer carbs at every meal for the next couple of weeks, until the pill reaches its full effectiveness, and see if I can continue to avoid using any insulin at all.
Tomorrow, it will be 7 weeks since I was released from the hospital. I've lost 17 pounds since then, for a total of 50 pounds in the past year or so. My next-door neighbor and buddy, Mike, jokes that I'm wasting away. I prefer to think that I'm "waisting" away, since I've lost 6-7 inches off of my waist.
Yesterday was my third day of taking my new diabetes pill, and the second full day that I didn't need any insulin at all. I ate my lower breakfast allowance of carbs for breakfast, lunch, and supper, and as I had hoped, my blood glucose stayed in the normal range all day. I'm already loving that new diabetes pill, and it won't even reach its full effectiveness until a couple of weeks from now.
I went to my eye doctor yesterday morning, for my first eye exam since being diagnosed with diabetes almost 8 weeks ago. Actually, it was my first eye exam in about 10 years. Regular readers of this Journal may remember that my eyesight drastically changed for several weeks before I was finally diagnosed as having diabetes, but I had erroneously attributed the change to middle age. As you probably know, diabetes can cause all kinds of serious eye problems, including blindness, so I was pretty scared to hear the results of yesterday's exam. It was all good though, as my doctor concluded that my eyes are just fine, with absolutely no damage. He said, "I'll see you in a year." With a great deal of relief, I replied, "And even more importantly, I will see you in a year."
Instead of doing 5 insulin injections every day, I've been taking one diabetes pill every morning for the past 10 days. Even though it's supposed to take 2-3 weeks for the pill to reach full effectiveness, it's already doing an incredible job. Last night, I had 3 square pieces of my very favorite pizzeria pizza, for the first time in more than 3 months. Ninety minutes later, when I would have expected my peak, after-meal blood glucose level to be up near the maximum safe level of 160, it was only 119. Thirty minutes after that, it was only 110. Both of those readings were well within the normal range (90-130) for a fasting blood glucose level, so it's almost unbelievable that they were that low after eating. By the way, I used to eat half of the pizza at one time (10 square pieces). I don't mind telling you that it took an awful lot of self control to stop eating after only 3 delicious pieces. At least, now I have enough leftover pizza for several lunches.
It's funny how our minds can play tricks on us, and our perceptions are often formed by comparing everything we see to whatever we're used to seeing. Many years ago, at a family wedding, one of my cousins deeply embarassed me in front of several other relatives, by laughingly and loudly proclaiming "Wow, you've really gotten fat!" At the time, I was only 10 pounds overweight. Over the next several years, the excess weight continued to subtly add up, and I eventually ended up being 100 pounds overweight. But when I looked in a mirror, my
body image never matched how I looked to others. Even at my heaviest, I saw myself as a plump person; never as a really fat person. Still, I knew that the numbers weren't lying, so I realized that I needed to lose some weight. In the past year or so, I've managed to lose 53 pounds; 19 of them in the past 8 weeks since I got out of the hospital after my stroke. As I watched my weight go down, my body image continued to be that of a plump person. Then yesterday, while looking at my now-tiny love handles in the mirror, I suddenly saw myself as a fat person for the very first time in my life. Just as I was getting used to that new, more-realistic body image, my wife and I met a couple of friends for a light supper last night. When they saw me, one of them called out, "Hey, skinny!"
Two days ago, I had a medical procedure done at a local hospital. As they prepped me, the nurses and I exchanged friendly banter. "You're so young!," one of them exclaimed. I'm used to hearing that — my youthful appearance betrays my actual age, and most people guess that I'm 15-20 years younger than I actually am. I asked her, "How old do you think I am?" She laughed and admitted that she had just glanced at my chart so she knew my real age. "But, to us, you're still just a kid. We see lots of really old people here. In fact, we call you a 'walkie-talkie.'" I laughed and replied, "So, it's kind of like I'm the hottest guy in the nursing home, huh?"
I haven't mentioned this in a long time, but if you're keeping score at home, I've lost a total of 93 pounds (42 kg) so far — 60 pounds (27 kg) since mid-February. That puts me only 7 pounds from my goal of weighing what I weighed back in high school. I've lost 18 inches (45 cm) from around my waist, at least 4 inches from around my neck, and more than an inch from around my wrists. I've gone down 3 shirt sizes, from XXL down to Medium. Even my feet are smaller than they used to be, and I hardly even recognize my own hands. Because my weight-loss has been gradual, my body has been able to adjust to it, so I don't have any extra skin. And even though people used to think that I was 15-20 years younger than I really was, they tell me that I look even younger now.
If you want to know how it feels to lose that much weight, do the following:
It feels sort of like that.
UPDATE: It turns out that I do have extra skin — in fact, I probably have more than 20 pounds of it. I can pull out about 8 inches of extra skin from my waist and 4-6 inches of it right above my knees. Other people don't notice it because my waist is skinnier than normal, so the extra skin fills it in and makes it look normal. My doctor says that extra skin never goes away by itself, so if I ever want to get rid of it, he can recommend a good plastic surgeon who would surgically remove it. Oh, well — I guess I'm going to have some extra skin for the rest of my life.
I'm very happy to report that when I took Mini and Max for a walk around the block this morning, walking felt completely different. On the other side of the block, I suddenly realized that the three of us were walking quickly, and that my strides were long, fluid and confident instead of toddling. In fact, when I got home, I discovered that all movement that involves balance suddenly feels completely automatic and natural again — instead of "manual" and premeditated — for the first time since my stroke this past February. I can't even tell you how good that makes me feel. Yes, I'm a man of deep faith, I believe in miracles, and I have a lot to be thankful for.
I've discovered that my walking, balance and coordination aren't the only things that are back to normal since my surprise breakthrough two days ago. My posture is also back to normal. For the past 9 1/2 months, I found myself stooping over slightly all the time, and it really bothered me, because it made me look like an old man. Every time I'd notice myself stooping, I'd make a point to try to stand up straight, but as soon as I'd stop thinking about it, I'd start stooping again. Well, apparently, that stooping must have been my body's way of trying to retain its balance, because now that my balance is back to normal, I'm standing up straight again without having to think about it.
If you're keeping score at home, I reached my weight-loss goal today: I've lost a total of 100 pounds. I'm very happy to see that my high-school body is back, even though it's quite a bit older than it was the last time I saw it. Here are the numbers:
| ComputerBob's Weight Loss | ||
|---|---|---|
| Before | After | |
| Height | 5' - 7 1⁄2" (171.5 cm) |
5' - 7 1⁄2" (171.5 cm) |
| Weight | 265 lbs. (120 kg) |
165 lbs. (75 kg) |
| Waist | 50" (127 cm) |
31" (79 cm) |
| Neck | 19" (48 cm) |
14 1⁄2" (37 cm) |
| Wrists | 8 5⁄8" (219 mm) |
7 1⁄2" (190 mm) |
| Shirt Size | XXL | Small |
If you're trying to lose weight, I wish you all the best. What worked for me was to eat only healthy foods, and to only eat as much of those as my body needed. There are many foods that I don't let myself eat any more, and I really miss all of them, but the results have made it worth giving them up. I can live with that.
It's often a lot easier to look back at life than it is to go through it in real time. I once calculated that, years ago, while I was an undergraduate, on top of being a full-time student, working half-time at a TV station and doing homework, I spent nearly 3 hours every day, just driving back and forth between those things and commuting my wife to and from her job in our one car. If someone had told me, before I started college, that I was going to have to do all of that, I might have chosen not to even go to college at all.
But, if you're smart, you do whatever needs to be done at the time, and you don't make things worse by thinking about how difficult or frightening it is. It's like the old saying says, "If you're going through hell, keep going." And like I've said here, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Followed by 2,639,999 more."
This year has turned out to be a great one for me to look back at. A year of challenges to be happy to have survived; of situations that I had to choose to see as "glasses half-full" in order to get through them. A few of the highlights that I was willing to share here included:
I feel very, very blessed to have my childhood bride, a woman of great faith, whose patience, forgiveness and enduring love aced every test that my life burdened her with this past year. I'm also very grateful to have a small group of close friends who have chosen to encourage and support me through everything, and as a result have become more of a family to me than most of my biological relatives ever were.
And, as always, I'm grateful to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for helping me through another year. Over and over, I am reminded that life is hard, but God is good.
You turn the key
Then close the door behind you
Drop your bags on the floor
You reach for the light
But there's darkness deep inside
And you can't take it anymore.
'Cause sometimes living takes the life out of you
And sometimes living is all you can do.
Life is hard, the world is cold
We're barely young and then we're old
But every falling tear is always understood
Yes, life is hard, but God is good.
You start to cry
'Cause you've been strong for so long
And that's not how you feel.
You try to pray
But there's nothing left to say
So you just quietly kneel.
In the silence of all that you face
God will give you His mercy and grace.
Jesus never said
It was an easy road to travel
He only said that you would never be alone.
So when your last thread of hope
Begins to come unraveled
Don't give up, He walks beside you
On this journey home and He knows
Life is hard, the world is cold
We're barely young and then we're old
But every falling tear is always understood
Yes, life is hard, but God is good.
I've gotten a lot of email lately, asking me for weight-loss tips. So, last night, I wrote How I Lost More Than 100 Pounds, and added it to this site's Personal Stuff section. I hope that it helps and encourages other people who know that they need to lose some weight.
Yesterday, I told you about my new article that tells how I recently lost a lot of weight. Several people have asked me to publish more details about exactly what my typical meals consist of, and to also list exactly which vitamins and nutritional supplements I take. I wrote a response to those requests in today's update to
How I Lost More Than 100 Pounds.
About a week ago, I told you How I Lost More Than 100 Pounds and gained complete control over my diabetes, hypertension and cholesterol. Basically, I completely changed my eating habits and began taking several specific vitamins and nutritional supplements that I had personally researched on the web. As I stated in that article, my doctor has been 100% supportive of my efforts, astounded by my progress, and has even encouraged me to write a book to tell other people everything that I've learned in the past 10 months.
Written by a doctor,
Is There A Doctor In The Mouse? discusses the need for doctors to be willing to learn from their web-savvy patients.
Recently, I reached my goal of losing 100 pounds. I'm so completely in control of my diabetes, hypertension and cholesterol that my doctor wants me to write a book. I'm healthier than I've been in decades. So why have I been so incredibly stressed out? The answer is in my new article, In And Out Of My Mind, which you can find in this site's Personal Stuff section.
Yesterday, I had my annual physical exam, where I found out the results of the blood tests that I had a week ago. I'm really, really happy to report that all of the results are better than ever! Though I was exactly the same weight as I had been at my last checkup in December, my doctor thought I had actually lost more weight since the last time he saw me. We think that's because I'm more active now than I used to be, so my body shape is gradually evolving from just looking healthy, to looking increasingly athletic.
| ComputerBob's April, 2008 Health Stats | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| February, 2007 | April 10, 2008 | ||
| Blood Pressure | 195/90-something | 118/66 | |
| Total Cholesterol (125-200) Lower Is Better |
198 | 146 | |
| Bad Cholesterol (Below 130) Lower Is Better |
140 | 84 | |
| Good Cholesterol (At least 40) Higher Is Better |
16 | 43 | |
| Fasting Blood Glucose Level (Diabetic - 90-130) Lower Is Better |
495 | 102 | |
| A1c (3-Month Blood Glucose Level) (Diabetic - Below 7.0) (Non-Diabetic - Below 6.0) Lower Is Better |
8.something | 4.9 | |
My blood pressure is nice and low, due to a combination of the prescribed hypertension pill that I take, the nutritional supplements that I take, my meticulous diet and my weight loss. Still, my doctor wants me to keep taking the hypertension medicine because it helps protect my heart and prevent further strokes. That's OK with me.
I haven't taken my prescribed cholesterol medicine since August 2, 2007, but thanks to my careful diet and the nutritional supplements that I take, my cholesterol levels are even better than they were when I was taking cholesterol medicine.
With regards to my diabetes, the A1c blood test is the "gold standard" for diabetics. Every conscientious diabetic works hard to get their A1c level down as low as possible, though many struggle to get it below the recommended maximum of 7.0. Happily, I was able to get my A1C level down to 5.2 for the whole second half of last year, which was incredibly low for a diabetic. But now my doctor says that my current A1c level of only 4.9 is so low that it looks like I don't even have diabetes any more. Of course, we all know that diabetes is a lifelong disease, but maybe I'm turning into "a closet diabetic" whose disease no longer really affects him at all. My doctor took notes when I told him the following story: A few weeks ago, on Easter Sunday evening, a neighbor couple invited my wife and me over for a visit. While we were there, they offered me a piece of homemade pecan pie. I told them that I hadn't had any cake or pie since my stroke, and so I was kind of scared to eat something as sugary as pecan pie. But after thinking about it for a couple of minutes, I finally decided that I wanted to see how eating it would affect my blood glucose level. I figured that when I got home from the visit, my blood glucose level — at its peak, about 90 minutes after eating the pie — would probably be up in the "danger" range, around 180, but then I would walk a couple of miles on my treadmill to quickly get it back down to the "safe" 90-130 range. So I ate a piece of pecan pie. When I got home and tested my blood glucose 90 minutes after I had eaten the pie, it was only 109, which is well within the 90-130 "normal" range when I haven't eaten anything at all for several hours! Thirty minutes later, my blood glucose level was still only 112. It was as though I hadn't even eaten that piece of pecan pie! And even more incredible is the fact that, for the past 4 months, I've only been taking one-half of my diabetes pill every day! I think it's very possible that some day, I might not even need that half of a pill any more.
I also happened to mention to my doctor that I've been trying to walk one mile on my treadmill at least every other day. When I started a few months ago, I could only walk 2 mile per hour, and I had to hold the treadmill's side rails. Now I'm walking 3.5 mph without holding onto the rails. While I'm walking, I usually watch the TV that I mounted up in the corner of my office. When I first started walking, I noticed that if I looked down or turned my head to look at Mini and Max in their little doggie beds across the room to my left, or at the much-closer curtains to my right, I'd feel just a little bit dizzy and I'd start to stumble just a little bit. So, I started forcing myself to repeatedly look down and to each side while I was walking, to try to improve my balance. I also did it whenever I walked Mini and Max around the block. Over the past couple of months, I've noticed that my balance has gotten a lot better in those situations. When I told all of that to my doctor, he laughed and said that he has a friend who work in a rehabilitation center. One of the things that the center makes their patients do is walk down a long hallway that has stickers on the floor and all over the walls. As they walk down the hall, the rehabilitation patients look straight ahead, then at the stickers that they pass on the floor and on the walls. So what I've been making myself do is exactly what the rehabilitation center makes its patients do. I think that's really, really cool.
I feel really empowered to see such encouraging results from all of my weight loss and nutritional efforts. And my doctor is really, really happy with and for me. He kept laughingly repeating that I'm the easiest patient that he's going to see all day. I told him that I hope that I'll continue to always be the easiest patient that he sees all day, and he said that I probably will be. He's so happy with my progress that he "graduated" me to only having to see him every 6 months instead of every 3 months. As always, I hope that my success will help inspire and encourage other people to do the work that is required to take control of their own health issues.
UPDATE: A stroke wasn't the first thing that ever went wrong with my brain. For the whole story of the freak accident that I survived years ago, see I'm Missing Part Of My Brain.
Yesterday, I went to my doctor for my 6-month checkup.
My numbers still look excellent. After losing more than 100 pounds, I've maintained that weight for the past 10 months. I was pleasantly surprised -- and more than a little relieved -- to see that my A1c blood glucose level is still the same incredibly low 4.9 that it was 6 months ago, even though I had "pushed the envelope" to test my boundaries by eating way too many carbohydrates several times in the past 6 months. It appears that the only negative effect of my culinary indiscretions is that my blood pressure and cholesterol are each very slightly --but not statistically significantly -- higher than they were 6 months ago.
My doctor continued to heap on his praise and encouragement for my efforts, telling me that he's really proud of the way I've taken care of myself and -- just as he had told me 6 months ago -- "You're the easiest patient I'm going to see all day."
Now that I'm done pushing the dietary envelope, I'm sure that my numbers will be even lower at my next 6-month checkup.
I can live with that.
Even though they’ve never looked bad, tor the past several years, my teeth have repeatedly required “deep-cleaning” appointments. That’s where they break out the jackhammers and dynamite and tap a barrel of novacaine in an effort to remove the tiny barnacles that insist on clinging to my pearly whites.
Gaye, my dental hygienist, told me that deep cleanings are very disruptive to the life of your teeth, so once you’ve had a deep-cleaning, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’re going to need deep-cleanings for the rest of your life — every three months.
Six months ago, I had one of those deep cleanings. Just as it does for many diabetics, my diabetes had played havoc with my gums. Before that deep cleaning, I had had to endure several months of very painful, very expensive periodontic surgeries, to fix my gums. And the deep cleaning that followed had required two separate 90-minute appointments, one week apart. Even with dental insurance coverage, each of those two deep-cleaning appointments had cost me $210.
But, in between those two appointments, I bought a Sonicare toothbrush, bought some Colgate Total tooth gel, flossed several times each day, and used hydrogen peroxide as a mouthwash.
Gaye noticed the difference at that second appointment. She could see that I was highly motivated to take control of my dental health the same way I had taken control of my overall health, so when she was all done with the second appointment, she cut me a break and allowed me to try going six months until my next appointment.
I had that six-month appointment this past week.
Gaye carefully examined my teeth, gums and underneath my gums. She was amazed. She said that they were the most improved ones that she’s ever seen. Then she cleaned and then polished my teeth without using any novacaine. The whole exam, cleaning and polishing took less than 30 minutes. And it cost me a total of $5.
That means that my $50 Sonicare toothbrush has already paid for itself about 8 times in just the first six months that I’ve used it.
I highly, highly recommend Sonicare toothbrushes.
