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Taking Care Of Yourself After Traumatic Events

People continue to experience emotional reactions after a traumatic event for weeks, months, or sometimes years, depending on the severity of the experience. With understanding and support, these stress reactions will pass more quickly. Some normal reactions include:

• Irritability/Restlessness

• Fatigue

• Anxiety And Helpless Feelings

• Difficulty Concentrating And Remembering

• Fearfulness

• Anger And/Or Rage

• Disrupted Sleep, Nightmares

• Hyperactivity/Hyper-Alert

• Being Easily Startled

• Aches And Pains

• Intrusive Thoughts Of The Trauma

• Flashbacks -- Feeling Like The Trauma Is Happening Now

• Emotional Numbing

• Confusion

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Talk and listen to one another. Allow yourself to recount and talk about the experience -- each time you repeat the experience, you process what has happened. The uncomfortable feelings will gradually diminish with each retelling. Anxieties about the future and about safety will also lessen when you allow yourself to talk openly about your fears and concerns. Other important things to try:

• Keep your sense of humor.
• Structure your time and keep busy.
• Be aware of numbing the pain with overuse of drugs or alcohol; ultimately these solutions won't help but will create more problems.
• Maintain as normal a schedule as possible.
• Spend time with others -- don't isolate.
• Help others as much as possible by sharing feelings and checking out how they're doing.
• Give yourself permission to feel out of sorts, nervous or sad -- you've been through an ordeal. You may cry, often unexpectedly. You may have some "good days" and think you're over it, then feel upset again. Don't be discouraged -- it's part of the healing process.
• Keep a journal and write when you can't sleep.
• Do things that feel good to you -- dance, sing, be silly, make music or art, take a bubble bath, etc.
• Realize that those around you are also under stress.
• Don't make big life changes.
• Do make as many daily decisions as possible that will give you a feeling of control over your life. For instance, if someone asks you what you want to eat, make a decision even if you're not sure.
• Get plenty of rest.
• Recurring thoughts, dreams or flashbacks are normal. Don't try to fight them -- they'll decrease over time and become less painful.
• Eat well-balanced and regular meals, even if you don't feel like it. Avoid large amounts of caffeine, sugar and nicotine.
• Exercise -- hard exercise like running or aerobics and/or relaxing exercise like yoga.
• Keep talking about the experience.

Children are also susceptible to these responses and may show them with anxieties, fear, worry, behavior and school problems, sleep problems and possibly bed wetting. Their play activities and fantasies may show that the event continues to bother them. Some children may appear to "regress" to younger behavior. Allow children to talk about their fears. This is how they understand them. Reassure them -- tell them it is OK and normal for them to be feeling these things and that you are doing whatever you can to ensure their safety. Allow them to talk as much as they want about the event adn to continue to ask quesions

People are usually surprised that reactions to trauma last longer than they expected. It may take weeks, months and, in some cases, years to regain equilibrium. Many women will get through this period on their own with the help and support of friends and family. Too often, however, family and friends push to "get over it" before you're ready, or encourage feeling sorry for or trying to understand the perpetrator. Remind them that such responses are not helpful for recovery. Many women find that individual, group or family counseling for themselves and their children is helpful.