http://www.ComputerBob.com/dv/cb_remember_me.php
by ComputerBob
October 21, 2008
Below is a transcript of ComputerBob's speech on domestic violence that he and six of his dear friends and fellow domestic violence workers presented to an audience of several hundred people at a local domestic violence center's annual fundraising luncheon on October 21, 2008. Three years earlier, he had given his first speech on domestic violence at that same luncheon on October 7, 2005.
Remember me?
In sixth grade, we were "best friends forever."
But did you ever wonder why we never played at my house?
I was scared that you would hear the threats.
Or see my mom's bruises.
And I didn't want my father to hurt you the way that he hurt me.
I hated him.
But when I grew up, I married a man just like him.
Remember me?
I was one of your college professors.
My home always looks perfect.
My children are smart and well-behaved.
I drive a nice automobile.
Last month, my husband beat me so badly that I had to go to the hospital.
But it was my own fault.
I shouldn't have made him so mad.
Remember me?
I rang up your groceries the other day.
My boyfriend used to tell me that I was special.
Now he calls me filthy names and slaps me around.
And he thinks it's funny that my teenagers are starting to do it, too.
Remember me?
We used to sit behind you at church.
I'm sorry I never introduced myself, but I wasn't allowed to have friends.
So no one knew my name.
Or missed me when I was gone.
And no one knows where he buried me.
Remember me?
I'm one of your neighbors.
I'm a stupid, ugly bitch.
I'm a fat, worthless whore.
I'm nothing.
No one cares about me.
And no one will ever love me.
Remember me?
I may be your coworker.
Your boss.
Your friend.
Your neighbor.
Your cousin.
Your sister.
Your mother.
Your daughter.
Or maybe sitting at the table with you right now.
I'm everywhere you go.
I'm one out of every four women in the state of Florida.
We are the faces of domestic violence.
We desperately need your help.
Please remember us.
Remember me?
I spoke at this luncheon three years ago. I told you a little bit about the horrors of being in a violent, abusive family.
And how I deal with it and find healing by writing and talking about what I've learned.
I've written a lot in the past three years.
In fact, my entire life's an open book on my web site, with many, many stories, including:
If you're curious, I invite you to visit ComputerBob.com. Take a look at my DV Information section, or post your survivor story in my Survivors Forum, to bless and empower others.
My experiences have made me profoundly aware that I'm only here temporarily. I really want to make a difference while I'm here.
What's the point of going through hell unless I can reach back and help other people get through it, too?
That's why I became a volunteer at xxxxxxxxxxxx.
Every day, I work side-by-side with some of the most amazingly selfless, strong, dedicated, nurturing, compassionate people I have ever known in my life. People to whom this isn't just a job – it's a calling. Each and every one of them know exactly why they work for xxxxxxxxxxxx, and it shows on their faces.
You can see some of them up here with me right now, but xxxxxxxxxxxx has many other incredible staff members and volunteers. I love, respect and admire them all.
A few of them are old enough to be my.... older sisters.... and brothers.
Others, I'm old enough to be their father.
Thank you for being surprised.
I sincerely thank them for welcoming me into their family and for carefully training me how to help people like they do.
We work together as a team to change lives. Lives of people that you've never met. And lives of people that you know and love. Not only through our shelter, which houses and feeds 35 survivors, but through a staff of 35 people on 3 campuses who provide safety, support, counseling, advocacy, education and empowerment to hundreds of schoolchildren, adults, and families — to help victims become survivors and to bring about the kinds of real social change that will prevent domestic violence.
And amazingly, the whole system runs on just two things: coffee and chocolate.
Lots and lots of chocolate.
It's often difficult, but always incredibly rewarding work.
There's absolutely nothing in this world that I'd rather be doing.
I'm eternally grateful to my loving wife, who works long hours at xxxxxxxxxxxx every day and comes home exhausted every night, in order to pay our bills. Without her, I couldn't be here.
She's been my angel and partner in faith for more than 33 years.
Again — thank you for being surprised.
When I spoke here three years ago, I was a victim.
In the past three years, I have become a survivor.
Three years ago, I was up here, speaking out for xxxxxxxxxxxx, asking you to please help them help people like me.
But today, it's my incredible honor and privilege to be up here, asking you to please help us change lives.
Yes, WE are the faces of domestic violence.
But today, I'm asking you to not just remember us, but to join us.
During the final musical interlude, your table leaders will pass out donation envelopes.
I hope that you will consider it an incredible honor and privilege to give generously, whether through a one-time gift or through a monthly pledge.
Join us in ending the cycle of violence.
Join us in ending the legacy of violence.
Join us in helping victims become survivors.
Your heart will thank you.
And so will hundreds of faces of domestic violence.
God bless you all.