http://www.ComputerBob.com/abuse/time_to_break_free.php .
.
.
by Judith R. Smith
Available from Amazon.com
Day 1 - Before I can begin my process of breaking free, I must admit to myself that I have been abused. Perhaps one person has abused me, or perhaps many. There may be reasons why this happened, but I don't have to think about the details and circumstances now. All I have to do today is admit to myself, "I have been abused."
Day 2 - If my spouse or former spouse, the person I live with or used to live with, the parent of my child(ren), the person I'm dating or have dated, or any person related to me has physically injured me or made me afraid of physical injury, I have experienced domestic violence. If I have been degraded, humiliated, controlled, threatened, or forced to do something I didn't want to do, I have been abused. For today, all I have to know is that I don't want to be abused anymore. I want it to stop, and I'm ready for it to stop. I will think of this as many times as I can for the next twenty-four hours.
Day 3 - All I have to know today is that I'm willing to have my life be different. "Willingness" is the key to my freedom. When I'm open minded, when I'm ready to listen to ideas and suggestions, I'm already changing my life for the better.
Day 4 - If my abuser tries to get me back or wants to see me, he may promise all sorts of things. He may promise to attend Twelve Step meetings, go to counseling, cut down or quit drinking, cut down or quit using drugs, or never hurt me again. He may swear that he's sorry, say what he did was wrong, or blame it on something or someone else. He may act loving and apologetic, remorseful and emotional, or he may try to get me to feel sorry for him. His actions may turn angry, and he may threaten me, call me names, or yell at me. He may tell me I can't make it without him, no one will believe me, I'm crazy, or I'm being selfish. He may say many things to me, but one thing I can count on: He will say anything he can think of to get what he wants. I need to know that all of these claims are typical of abusers. He may use different words, but the fact that he says them is typical of any abuser. The best thing I can do is not put myself in the position of having to listen to any of it. I do not have to listen to his excuses or promises anymore. And for today, I won't.
Day 5 - Today I will make a promise (to myself) to have no contact with my abuser. I need this time to heal, and I can't do it the right way if I'm still seeing, talking to, or spending time with my abuser. Even if I don't understand this way of thinking, I promise to try it. OFten, when we're in the middle of a situation, we need to step back in order to see it clearly. The most important thing for me to do during this difficult time is to refrain from having any contact with my abuser, to step back so I can see clearly.