Power and Control
adapted from Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
206 West Fourth Street
Duluth, Minnesota 55806
218-722-2781
PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE CENTERS AROUND ONE PERSON TRYING TO HAVE POWER AND CONTROL OVER ANOTHER PERSON
Using Coercion and Threats
- Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her
- Threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare
- Making her drop charges
- Making her do illegal things
Using Intimidation
- Making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures
- Smashing things
- Destroying her property
- Abusing pets
- Displaying weapons
Using Emotional Abuse
- Putting her down
- Making her feel bad about herself
- Calling her names
- Making her think she's crazy
- Playing mind games
- Humiliating her
- Making her feel guilty
Using Isolation
- Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes
- Limiting her outside involvement
- Using jealousy to justify actions
Minimizing, Denying and Blaming
- Making light of the abuse, and not taking her concerns about it seriously
- Saying the abuse didn't happen
- Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
- Saying she caused it
Using Children
- Making her feel guilty about the children
- Using the children to relay messages
- Using visitation to harass her
- Threatening to take the children away
Using Male Privilege
- Training her like a servant
- Making all the big decisions
- Acting like the "master of the castle"
- Being the one to define men's and women's roles
Using Economic Abuse
- Preventing her from getting or keeping a job
- Making her ask for money
- Giving her an allowance
- Taking her money
- Not letting her know about or have access to family income
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