How To Be A Friend To Victims Of Abuse By A Partner

adapted from Northwest Assistance Ministries, Houston, Texas

Educate yourself about the myths and facts of abuse and share the information.

Express your concern and support them.
Practice active listening techniques.
Let them make their own decisions and accept their decisions as right for them at this time.
Don't judge their decisions.
Be calm when discussing the issues.
Recognize and praise the good qualities and strengths you see. It takes strength to survive and cope.
Tell them they did not cuase and do not deserve the abuse.
Tell them they cannot limit or stop the abuse.
Encourage them to be who they want to be.
Help them clarify their feelings.
Never condone the abuse; state your belief that no one deserves to be beaten.
Don't be a mediator.
Encourage them to confide in a trusted adult if you believe the situation is getting worse.
Be aware that violence escalates in frequency and severity.
Recommend professional help if the situation is serious.
Remember, you can't rescue them if they aren't ready to be helped.
Understand that getting out takes time.
Never put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim's partner. It may encourage your friend to discount the danger that both of you are in.
Tell them that battery in an intimate relationship, is against the law.